Letters on Beauty X

Letter X — The cost of listening

✍️ From Rebeca to Verdiel
Dated: July, 2025 💌

Dear Verdiel,

Your letter on planting silence brought tears to my eyes. It is both touching and true. But coherence requires practice, and I don’t yet know how to practice silence in such a demanding world.

Sometimes, I still wish I could disappear — not because I lack the ability to say no, not because I cannot forge discipline, but because it feels as though I am not allowed to.

There are activities I can postpone. I can even carry a sense of peace within myself while facing the noise of the world. But I cannot always stop.

I must keep my phone with me, because there are calls that cannot be missed: my child’s therapist, an urgent appointment, a required reply. If I reject most of the noise, I am not only rejecting distraction. I am also left at the margins of society, sometimes even blamed or punished for missing what others call “urgent.”

I miss the quieter world.
I miss the time when not everyone could reach me instantly.
I miss when silence was a choice still open.

Now, urgency creeps everywhere — even into spaces where it is not needed. In the past, I would enter a library and marvel at the possibility of books. Today, my heart races because I know I will never read even half of them in this lifetime.

So help me, Verdiel. It doesn’t feel like silence can always be chosen freely. Not when the cost of listening could be punishment for myself or those I love.

With honesty, affection, and truth,
Rebeca

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